Dating in Cambodia as a foreigner comes with its own set of challenges. The country is welcoming and filled with warm, friendly people, but the dating scene can be a mixed bag, especially when navigating cultural differences, economic disparities, and the influence of Cambodia’s tourism-driven economy.
Tinder and Online Dating: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
Tinder and other dating apps work in Cambodia, but they come with caveats. Many Khmer women are not necessarily looking for romantic relationships. Many are simply trying to get a foreign guy to visit the bars where they work. Some engage in subtle scams, luring unsuspecting foreigners into paying their bar tabs or giving them money. Additionally, prostitution is common, and some profiles are tied to escort services rather than genuine dating opportunities. This doesn’t mean all local women on dating apps are disingenuous, but it does mean that foreigners should approach online dating with a critical eye.
When I first came here, I had mostly bad dating experiences before finally having a good one. There was some “ropes” to learn, so-to-speak. One thing you must learn is the prostitutes are pretty forward here, and if you’re not into that sort of thing, as I am not, that can make the entire dating scene look dark and dreary.
After a few dates wherein the other person is clearly out for money, be it via prostitution or the simple “just here for free dinner” move you’ll get-to-know well, things might start to look bleak.
My First Girl in Siem Reap
The first girl I dated was a local who I met on Tinder. She was a bartender, and spoke fluid English. She was well-traveled and had an excellent sense of humor. The first time we met, she invited me to a pool with a bar not too far from my house. It was beautiful, beers were 25 cents, and we had fun in the swimming pool. We made each other laugh, and had a wholesome, good time.
She was clever, and our connection seemed real. Maybe it was, although I suppose I’ll never know for sure. We went on maybe ten dates, made out a couple times. It was cool. I was new, she showed me around, taught me how to deal with the tuk-tuk drivers, because, that’s a whole thing. Showed me all the coolest spots around town. Let me drink for free at her bar. Until one day she asked me if she could stay over. Of course, I blushed and said yes. I liked her, of course she could stay over!
We stayed up late laughing and giggling, and she took a shower while I read. No sexy stuff happened and I was totally fine with that, as it wasn’t what I was looking for anyway. We still cuddled. It was nice. Soon she began spending the night one night a week, and she still acted like me tour guide, and my girlfriend much of the rest of the week. We saw Angkor Wat together, we went to all the local bars, all sorts of things.
Eventually, as I got the lay of the land, I realized that she always asked me to take her to the most expensive restaurants. Mind you, the most expensive restaurants here aren’t very expensive, but I still noticed. Then, one night, after another expensive (for Cambodia) dinner, she started trying to sell me her motorcycle. It was totally out-of-the-blue. Afterall, I didn’t need a vehicle. Siem Reap is a small town. One can walk anywhere and everywhere. And I work online. Why would I need a motorbike? I also began to notice she always wanted to come over when it was very hot, because of my air conditioner.
I tried to talk to her about it, and her response was “you talk too much.” We had yet to have any sort of tension or disagreement, but at that moment that I saw through it all, and she was aware. That’s why she was annoyed. I asked her to leave, and we haven’t spoken since. I’ll always wonder how she faked it to the extent that she did, or if she actually enjoyed my company. But either way, I enjoyed her, and she taught me much about this place during our time together, and having her around to deal with tuk-tuk drivers before I learned a little Khmer was kind of priceless.
The Wealth Gap and Relationship Dynamics
One of the biggest challenges for foreigners dating Khmer women is the significant wealth gap. Even an expat earning a modest remote income is often in a much stronger financial position than the average Cambodian. This can create an imbalance in relationships, where financial support becomes an unspoken expectation. Over time, many foreigners realize that their relationships are more transactional than they initially thought, with money playing a much larger role than they’re comfortable with. This is why I personally tend to date other expats.
Dating Other Expats
For many foreign men and women living in Cambodia, dating other expats is a more comfortable and balanced option. The expat community is diverse, with people from Australia, the UK, Canada, Germany, France, and beyond. Though, I do not actually meet many other Americans. Not too sure why, but I’ll certainly look into it and write about it some day. Relationships between expats tend to be more equitable and less complicated to navigate. Plus, there’s an added benefit of shared experiences—many expats come to Cambodia with a similar mindset of seeking adventure, a new lifestyle, or an escape from the rat race. This is what I’ve mostly done after my experience with a local.
Haven’t made any connections quite yet, but I do have a cardboard girlfriend at all the local pharmacies.
Cultural Expectations and Challenges
Even if you do decide to date a local, it’s important to understand Cambodia’s cultural norms regarding relationships. Public displays of affection are generally frowned upon, and many Cambodian women come from conservative backgrounds where dating a foreigner can carry a stigma. Family expectations also play a significant role, and in many cases, a serious relationship with a Khmer woman means you’ll also be expected to support her family in some way.
Final Thoughts
Dating in Cambodia as a foreigner is a unique experience that requires a mix of caution, open-mindedness, and adaptability. While there are always genuine connections to be made, it’s important to understand the financial and cultural complexities that often come with dating locals. For many expats, including me, dating within the expat community offers a more straightforward approach.
For more insights on expat life in Cambodia, or even people to ask about dating in Cambodia, check out Nomad List, Expat Arrivals, and Cambodia Expats Online.